R.I.P. Mr. OxiClean

Of the recent rash of celebrity deaths, perhaps one touched our hearts and home more than the rest. The death of Mr. William Mays, pitchman for such infomercial products as OxiClean, Mighty Mendit, Mighty Putty, etc. left us with a huge hole in our hearts and a shelf full of products bearing his likeness.

To bring to light the effect Mr. Mays had on our household, I only need to recount several recent conversations that took place under my roof.

The middlest and oldest:

"Man, you're going to be in so much trouble when Mommy sees that stain on your shirt."

"Don't worry, she can get it out with the amazing oxygenating power of OxiClean."

"Hey, [Middlest]! You broke my toy!"

"Oh, don't worry! We can fix it with Might Putty! It's as easy as 1, 2, 3! Cut, knead it to activate and then we can fix your toy! It holds up to 350 pounds!"

"Hey Mom, that fwag (flag) is wipped (ripped). They should bwing it down and fix it with Mighty Mend It. It can withstand huwicane-force winds!"

And the Husband:

"Hi, Dad here, with another amazing product! It's called Dad Clean. When your dad is super stinky, use this powerful product to get the stink out!"

And, to bring it home, the middlest who has a firmer grasp on his faith and what death means said, "Mom, I hope the OxiClean guy left some OxiClean here for us to use. And also, I hope he took some with him. God could reawy use it to get His cwothes whiter and cweaner. It will boost the laundwy soap he was alweady using."

Have you met Mike?

This is Mike

(the yellow one)

Mike and the pink baby are inseparable. No one knows the origin of the name "Mike" for her blankie, but you have to admit, it's unique.
The only problem we've run into with this arrangement is when we're in public and say things like, "Do you want to go snuggle up with Mike and take a nap?" That sounds a bit weird, even to us.

We heart Craigslist!

A week and a few days ago our dryer took a dumper. Grandma has been so nice and has laundered our dirties and shuttled them back to us (gotta say that hiring a laundry service is not a terrible idea). We have no money to allot to this type of expense so Husband got all brilliant and listed 3 big-ticket items Saturday morning.

By 10am we had a call and by noon we had made $250.

By 2, another sale. This time $150.

Lastly, the item that we thought wouldn't sell, the washing machine, was loaded onto a truck along with it's broken counterpart and we were another $120 richer.

Oh and Craigslist's wonderfulness didn't stop there for us, oh no! We found a two year old washer/dryer set for $350. Husband talked the guy down to $300, got him to deliver it, and taught the boys the "art of negotiation" in the process. It was a win, win win.

If you can count, it would seem that we were "up" for the day. Sadly, due to last weekend's heinous bachelor/bachelorette expenses, the remainder of our earnings went to the American Express card.

Maybe one day we'll recoup what we are out from Tim's brother and his new wife. Is it tacky to send a bride and groom a bill for $1000 instead of a wedding present. Yeah, probably.

But Yay! Craigslist. Now if only the excellent CL could work it's magic and find us a buyer for Husband's new/old truck. That would truly be the greatest Craigslist miracle of all.

Overheard

Oldest: What ARE you doing? That looks weird. Why are you giving yourself a wedgie?

Middlest: What? I'm tucking in my fart.

Oldest: Gross!

Middlest: I'm afraid if I don't I'm gonna smell it.



Middlest: Oh darnacles, it doesn't work. That smells.



Boys are gross and weird, for sure.

When it rains... things break

"When it rains, it pours" didn't seem to fit.

I could have also given this post the title, "When it rains, our savings gets drained."

And really? Our issues have nothing to do with rain, except that it has been rainy and drizzly and just plain soggy for the better part of May and June. Popcorn, hot cocoa and a movie under a big blanket is all that my brain craves. No time for that. And isn't it almost summer? My body is confused. Hmmm...

Anywho, we sold our high-payment, just had to buy new! car and took out a small loan to cover what we were upside-down and to buy a beater to get the Husband to work. Cut our monthly car payment in half. Yay! A step in the right direction, right? Would have been except the Husband and I are incredibly trusting individuals and got royally duped by the sweetest dad of four with the paperwork of EVERYTHING that had ever been done to the car, and the story that the money from the sale was going to fund his vasectomy. We bonded and got a cool new/old car, to boot! We lamely overlooked the fact that every time we looked at the car, the guy had it running. We never actually started it ourselves. Dude, we are NOT people with any sort of knowledge of anything to do with cars and we want to see the good in people always- which turns out is a terrible recipe for getting suckered in the auto department.

When the Mr. got it home and started it, white smoke. Hmmm... take it to the mechanic just to have it looked over, maybe have some hoses or belts replaced. Yeah, the heads were bad. Pretty much the WORST thing to have to fix on a car you just bought. A measly two-grand would have it up and running. That's two-thirds of what we paid for it. Sweet! Score one for the car dummies!

Long story longer, my sister's boyfriend offered to make it his project for a fraction of the cost. More than just the heads were bunk (including a full rat's nest nestled snugly in the engine and a goopy jell-like substance in the radiator, a clutch that needs replacing...etc.) but James worked his car magic and we have it back at our house and listed on Craigslist! I'm pretty sure James won't speak to us again because of the headache we caused him. At the very least we had to sign a document and have it notarized that "We, the aforementioned car dummies, do solemnly swear to NEVER purchase a car without the consent of an outside person containing half a brain. "

It feels really cool to be in our thirties and learning these types of lessons. Really cool. Doh!

So now that the car is "fixed" we are on the prowl for a super cheap washer and dryer set since ours decided to die this week. AND, we just got our refrigerator fixed for the second time in a year, so we're really excited about that.

Things happen in three's right? We're done with this stuff, right? Right???