Sweet baby Jake...

I'm an aunt again. This child's entrance wasn't quite as traumatic as the last time I became an aunt, but it was full of angst and worry nonetheless. I don't know why my sisters feel the need to scare everyone out of their ever-loving (Tim would say liver-loving) minds. I mean, everyone has to be somewhat on edge when a new baby is being brought into the world anyway without the mention of death and emergency surgery and the NICU.
The newest addition to the ever-growing gaggle of grand babies spent the first 3 days of his life hooked up to a respirator and then was extubated but was hooked up to machines making it very difficult to see him and hold him and kiss on him. I was able to sneak into the NICU with my sister and peek at the little guy for a quick 2 minutes. He was fussing in his little plastic bed with IVs and tubes hanging out everywhere. His mommy picked him up and sat in a rocker with him. He immediately settled and melted into his mom's arms and blinked his little eyes. I was so happy to witness such a sweet moment. I couldn't take my eyes off of him and his sweet little face. I kept trying to get my feet to move toward the door but my eyes and heart wouldn't cooperate. I'm smitten. The fact that Dad was waiting patiently outside the NICU doors to see his boy made my feet move.
I'm impressed by the way my little sister and her husband handled the tiny baby and the medical junk and the nurses. They were meant to bring this little guy into the world and they did a great job. He's perfect.

Want Ads: Seeking a Mother

Moms everywhere know that being a mom is a full time position. I've wondered what it would look like as a want ad in the Penny Saver or on Craigslist. This is how I would list my position:

Wanted: full time help for 3 small children. Must be okay with poop, barf, snot, pee and various other bodily functions. Must be able to multi task like no one's business- running 6-7 activities (ie: laundry, cooking dinner, breastfeeding, disciplining etc. etc.) simultaneously. Plan activities to keep children occupied and prevent property damage and bodily injury. Referee experience a plus! Pay is minimal. Time off is available but a huge, huge hassle.

I could probably stop after the first two sentences and my existence would be summed up almost completely. Anyone need a job?

A few days ago I spent about an hour of my life cleaning up pee off the bathroom floor, poop out of the carpet, threw ONE child into the shower THREE times for aforementioned offences, popped a pacifier into a crabby baby's mouth 7 times, wiped another child's butt after about 30 minutes on the toilet, and ran back and forth down the hall 17 times between the three of them. That's 60 minutes of my life wasted on excrement and urine. I can't get that time back, people!

Seriously, want a job?