Wanted: full time help for 3 small children. Must be okay with poop, barf, snot, pee and various other bodily functions. Must be able to multi task like no one's business- running 6-7 activities (ie: laundry, cooking dinner, breastfeeding, disciplining etc. etc.) simultaneously. Plan activities to keep children occupied and prevent property damage and bodily injury. Referee experience a plus! Pay is minimal. Time off is available but a huge, huge hassle.
I could probably stop after the first two sentences and my existence would be summed up almost completely. Anyone need a job?
A few days ago I spent about an hour of my life cleaning up pee off the bathroom floor, poop out of the carpet, threw ONE child into the shower THREE times for aforementioned offences, popped a pacifier into a crabby baby's mouth 7 times, wiped another child's butt after about 30 minutes on the toilet, and ran back and forth down the hall 17 times between the three of them. That's 60 minutes of my life wasted on excrement and urine. I can't get that time back, people!
Seriously, want a job?
2 comments:
IF you get more than one applicant, send them my way!! You know I'm livin your life girl!!
HA! I still think about you everytime I am rinsing spoiled milk from sippy cups!
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